Chuck norris hired to enforce compliance in adventist church. The event is hoping to break the record for the largest number of people gathered in one place dressed as chuck norris, and has sent a photo to the guinness book of world records for verification. Chuck norris lost his virginity before his father did. Chuck norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Joke for saturday, 26 november 2011 from site daily chuck. When chuck norris got his first slingshot, he created what we now know today as the moon, mars, jupitar, saturn and pluto. Celebrate usaf veteran chuck norris 80th birthday with 20. In fine print on the last page of the guinness book of world records it notes that all world records are held by chuck norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
In the back of every issue of guinness book of world records. Chuck norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more. Chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it. Ill explain in a minute, but first, a few chuck norris jokes to get us started. Buy guinness book of world records by norris mcwhirter online at alibris.
Norris won the professional middleweight karate tournament in 1968. Chuck norris has never had to pay taxes ever is that thats not true. Joining the fray will be chuck norris and his water bottling company. Chuck norris has a lifetime karate record of 183 wins, 10 losses, and 2 draws. Chuck norris can roundhouse a 4pack of dfh 90 minute ipa into one bottle of 360 minute ipa. One of the chuck norris facts specifically, the one where a snake. Every one of chuck norris blood cells have black belts. Chuck norris 5k chuck norris race guinness world record. The only time chuck norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Com walker, texas ranger is looking to set a world record in the lone star state. The chuck norris jokes started in the summer of 2005 as the result of a thread on the somethingawful forums. What was going through the minds of all of chuck norris victims before they died. Celebrate air force veteran chuck norris 80th birthday. Carlos ray norris is known as chuck norris to pretty much everyone except his close friends and family. Guinness book of world records 1984 by norris mcwhirter. The values toughguy chuck norris lives by are sure to. In fine print on the guinness book of world records it notes that all records are held by chuck norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Chuck norris was once on celebrity wheel of fortune and was the first to spin. Norris dewar mcwhirter cbe 12 august 1925 19 april 2004 was a british writer, political activist, cofounder of the freedom association, and a television presenter. Chuck norris invented the olympic games in hopes of finding a worthy opponent. Chuck norris community discussions the aetherlight forums. Chuck norris has published the official chuck norris fact book.
The player takes control of chuck norris himself in a sidescrolling beat em up. Chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a. When chuck norris says hes buying a 6 pack for the game, hes talking about barrels. In fine print on the last page of the guinness book of world records it notes that all world records are held by chuck norris, and those listed in the. Runners donned their best fake beards, boots, and jorts. The company will hold its firstever cforce chuck norris 5k run in college station, texas, on may 4, 2019. Submit your own chuck norris jokes and facts to our site.
And fine print on the last page of the guinness book of record of world records in knows that all world records are held by chuck norris and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever got. It was only 5 pages long because chuck norris roundhouse kicked saurons ass halfway through the first 7 chapters. Chuck norris facts really funny clean jokes and humor. Chuck norris biography affair, married, wife, ethnicity, nationality, salary, net worth, height married biography who is chuck norris. The only time chuck norris was wrong was when he thought he had made. On october 7, 2009, tyndale house publishers issued the official chuck norris fact book. Just a fun page where you can share chuck norris pics and jokes lol be lucky. Carlos ray chuck norris was born on march 10, 1940, in ryan, oklahoma to wilma and ray norris. Best chuck norris jokes facts browse the full list. The guinness book of world records is actually chuck norris elementary school report card. On the last page of the guinness book of world records it is noted. Buy guinness book of world records 1984 by norris mcwhirter online at alibris.
In fine print on the last page of the guinness book of world records it notes that all world records are held by chuck norris, and those listed in the book are. He is one of the most recognizable faces in hollywood and the martial arts industry. This 305 page soft cover book is easy to read and is filled with stories from chuck norriss vast experience as a martial artist and an actor. Hes about to set a new world record for achieving 100% policy compliance. Where did the chuck norris joke phenomena originate from. Chuck norris hosts inaugural 5k where all the runners dressed up as chuck norris. Chuck norris has a diary called the guinness book of wo funny. Chuck norris vs the one above all death battle fanon. Chuck norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and mister miyagi from karate kid. If you live to see christmas, that is your christmas present from chuck. On the last page of the guinness world records book, it is noted that chuck norris does, in fact, own all of the records, and the ones that are listed are simply. Impress your friends by breaking or inventing your own chuck norris world records on.
Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck norris to host 5k race that could set chuck norris looka. The greatest chuck norris beer facts beerfestboots blog. A thread started called post your vin diesel facts in response to the movie the pacifier coming out. His paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother were of irish ancestry, while his maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother were. In fine print on the last page of the guinness book of world records it notes that all world records. Funny joke chuck norris has a diary called the guinness book of world records from kickass humor, bringing you the best jokes on the web.
Biography of chuck norris, actor and martial artist. Rate each chuck norris joke fact with our 5 star rating system. Chuck norris guinness is carbonated with nitroglycerin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
See more ideas about chuck norris, chuck norris facts and jokes. Guinness book of world records by norris mcwhirter alibris. Walker texas ranger actor, apogee of toughness, chuck. Nostalgia chuck norris reading chuck norris facts is. Anyone who pisses off chuck norris gets handed a dead guy ale. Texas senate names chuck norris honorary texan abc houston. The marvelous chuck norris has been a part of many films and jokes alike. In fine print on the last page of the guinness book of world records it notes that all world records are held by chuck. Please practice handwashing and social distancing, and. Heres a list of funniest jokes about him, which you can use as funny oneliners too. Chuck norris wants to set world record for most people dressed. Chuck norris guinees book of world records joke ebaum. Chuck norris has 24 books on goodreads with 24037 ratings.
Chuck norris in wwe also prevented jeff from interfering undertaker and yokozumo. When chuck norris falls into a puddle of water he doesnt get wet, the water gets chuck norris. Impress your friends by breaking or inventing your own chuck norris world. Chuck norris jokes a selection of the best 30 jokes. Chuck norris has inside jokes with complete strangers. Bruce lee met chuck norris at a karate expo, which lead to norris appearing on screen to fight bruce lee in return of the dragon. I found this book not just highly informative but very humorous as well. Doomsday and galactus vs chuck norris battles comic vine. Chuck norris once peed in the gas tank of a diesel truck. Chuck norris to host 5k race that could set chuck norris. There were 404 folks who dressed up like albert einstein in a 2017 feat that set a new mark in the guinness book of world records.
Giraffes were created when chuck norris uppercutted a horse. They actually are a warning that chuck norris is the owner of the place. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck norris is ten feet tall, weighs twotons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Chuck norris world records world records recordsetter. On the last page of the guinness book of world records it is noted that all records are held by chuck norris, and that those listed are simply the closest anyone. Chuck norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week because of it. Check out some of the coolest and quirkiest chuck norris world records and videos. Chuck norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed. Chuck norris sayings are very funny and we strongly belive that you will like them too. Robert rousseau is a martial arts expert and a former senior writer for mma fighting. Chuck norris guinees book of world records uploaded 05302008 in fine print, on the last page of the guiness book of world records, it notes that all world records are held by chuck norris, and those listed in the book are just the closest that anyone has ever gotten.
Chuck norris biography affair, married, wife, ethnicity. Its called the guinness book of world records, said a gc announcement about the new hire. To think his epic legacy all started in a small town called ryan, oklahoma chuck was born in 1940 to wilma and ray norris. The expendables 2 sylvester stallone, chuck norris. The original lord of the rings book was about chuck norris. Chuck norris jokes and facts random chuck norris joke fact chuck norris shot j. If your chucky would exist, he would stand behind me right now and would smash my head against my keyb34t89j93 fh3of j9f83h4f983h 9f. When chuck norris enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. When chuck norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between chuck norris and chuck norris. Chuck norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
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